And just like that I turned 20 today!!


Two decades I traversed withall,
Somethings I did please me, and somethings appall,
No significant event overall,
But I exulted greatly today on my birthday,
'Coz there were queued several wishes on my Facebook wall,
I then realised, this solitary thing I earned.....my chums and pals,
Esp. my Mohita, distinguished from all,
Thank you God, Thank you all.

And yes Happy New Year 2011 everyone!!!
Have a smashing, dashing, rocking and booming year ahead!!!

Down the lane of the noughties (Edifices) [3/10]

3. European Southern Observatory Hotel, Cerro Paranal, Chile (2003)

         At 2,400ft above sea level, this "hotel" for astronomers working in the Atacama desert has been designed to use the landscape to provide a comfortable environment in an inhospitable location. The hotel was designed to minimize light output that could disrupt the primary purpose for the astronomers' visits - the highly sensitive telescope peering out into space. And it works - the total light emissions from the building are smaller than a 100w bulb. Designed by Auer and Weber. This "hotel" for astronomers working in the Atacama desert is a perfect fusion of architecture and landscape, from the Munich practice Auer and Weber and engineers Mayr and Ludescher. Coolly geometric red concrete walls form a quasi-monastic courtyard, behind which rooms are stacked in orderly rows.


FEATURES:

The design facilitating the reduction of light emission

• The main challenge was not disrupting the telescopes highly sensitive installations. So it has been designed so that the total light intensity emanating from it is not more than that of a 100W bulb.
• Like a dam across a reservoir, the hotel spans a shallow depression. Surrounding cliffs act as a support wall, although they do nothing to impede the breathtaking views of the ocean, especially from the dining wall balcony.
• Like a dam across a reservoir, the hotel spans a shallow depression. Surrounding cliffs act as a support wall, although they do nothing to impede the breathtaking views of the ocean, especially from the dining wall balcony.
• Concrete was chosen as the chief construction material by a process of elimination. Even then, water to mix the concrete had to be shipped in by tankers. 

• Walls and ceilings have been left exposed and the concrete dyed red with ferrous oxide (or rust, to give it its common name) to match the desert outside. To continue this nature-inspired theme, the steel used in the facade and interiors has been powder-coated, to give it the appearance of raw metal. 
  This use of concrete helps combat the extreme temperature differences found in the region. Its thermally sluggish behaviour has a positive effect on the temperature of the interior
  spaces.
• At the heart of the hotel is the lounge area, a steep tropical garden inside the 35m-wide transparent dome.
• This rises above the hotel's central lounge area and creates a formal counterpoint to the telescope's enormous concave mirrors. The geodesic dome is covered in translucent polycarbonate panels that help to keep out the sun's radiation.

    

Earthquake Protection:

A view from the telescope

• Partition walls have been stiffened and protected with expansion joints. Certain parts of the building, such as the 8m-high retaining walls, are decoupled.
• Using an innovative new technique, these concrete blocks have been anchored to the ground with fibreglass mats, so that they absorb any movement.



The Central Oasis

• In the event of an earthquake, the structure would float above ground, thus absorbing the shocks of the horizontal movement.

                         

The hotel also featured in a James Bond movie: "Quantum of Solace".

Down the lane of the noughties (Edifices) [2/10]

2. 30 St Mary Axe/ The Gherkin (2003-2004)

30 St Mary Axe/ Gherkin

Better known as the "gherkin" since it is reminiscent of "a small prickly cucumber" (though it reminds me something else) this 600-ft office tower is one of the tallest buildings in London. Due to its phallic shape, it it has also been caled the 'erotic gherkin.' Noted for being environmentally sustainable, the Times called the building ian "eco-building pioneer." Designed by Norman Foster. Norman Foster’s Gherkin was admired and scorned. Most were awed by his office tower, although some thought it symbolised the cocksure ambition of the City. Its pleasures are chiefly for those who work here: the skygardens are impressive, and the restaurant is one of the world’s most breathtaking new rooms.

The Gherkin - From the inside

Down the lane of the noughties (Edifices) [1/10]

As we come toward the end of the first decade of the 21st century and the 3nd millennium, the world has seen many new horizons, humanity has taken several leaps and several groovy landmarks have been concreted to mark the face of the globe.

Let's take a walk down the road of edifices laid by man during the years 2000-2010.

1. The Millennium Dome/02

The Millennium Dome, Greenwich

As the Millennium Dome, it was a $74 million joke. A barely finished, unusable space that sat in a difficult location for public transport and, with a diameter of 365 meters (almost 1,120ft), was virtually impossible to fill. Then came rebirth. Bought by the British mobile telephone company o2, the dome was gutted and became an entertainment district including an indoor arena, a music club, a cinema, an exhibition space, bars and restaurants. Designed by Richard Rogers Partnership and Structural Engineer Buro Happold.


Facts:

• The entire roof structure weighs less than the air contained within the building. Although referred to as a dome it is not strictly one as it is not self-supporting, but is a mast-supported, dome-shaped cable network.
• The dome is the largest of its type in the world. Externally, it appears as a large white marquee with twelve 100 m-high yellow support towers, one for each month of the year, or each hour of the clock face, representing the role played by Greenwich Mean Time.
• In plan view it is circular, 365 m in diameter — one metre for each day of the year — with scalloped edges. It has become one of the United Kingdom's most recognisable landmarks.
• The canopy is made of PTFE-coated glass fibre fabric, a durable and weather-resistant plastic, and is 52 m high in the middle - one metre for each week of the year.

An Aerial View

[More to Continue]

Casanova- The Original Ladies Man

Giacomo Casanova (1725-1798)

"I begin by declaring to my reader that, by everything good or bad that I have done throughout my life, I am sure that I have earned merit or incurred guilt, and that hence I must consider myself a free agent. ... Despite an excellent moral foundation, the inevitable fruit of the divine principles which were rooted in my heart, I was all my life the victim of my senses; I have delighted in going astray and I have constantly lived in error, with no other consolation than that of knowing I have erred. ... My follies are the follies of youth. You will see that I laugh at them, and if you are kind you will laugh at them with me"- Casanova ( The Story of my Life)

The legend of Giacomo Casanova (18th century PLAYBOY) was large in his own time and has only grown in the past two-hundred years. A mere mention of Casanova brings to mind images of adventure, intrigue and of course, seduction. Even a recent Hollywood movie (starring the late Heath Ledger) that did little justice to his real life could tarnish Casanova's legend. Intelligent, charming and cunning, Casanova could survive on his wits or his money (when he had any) with equal success. The beautiful women of Europe were at his mercy for more than one reason and the men coveted his secret knowledge of the occult and alchemy.

At the end of his life, a bitter and broken Casanova documented his monumental experiences in an enormous twelve-volume autobiography called The Story Of My Life. The work, which occupied Casanova's last years sets the bar high for any aspiring womanizer. This true life account of adventure, intrigue, betrayal and wild sex would make the hero of any trashy romance novel blush from inexperience.

FUN FACT- If you are a Barney Stinson fan, you would know that in Season 5 he declares to Marshall that it was his goal to have sex with at least one 'chick' from every country on earth. Well, this man Casanova reached very near to Barney's goal, he has recorded in his memoirs intimacy with over 122 women from various countries making himself the MOST FAMOUS EROTIC HERO!!! 

The Works Of Fritz Kahn

Above here is an animation by Hennin Lederer, clearly showing the mechanical appurtenance of the human body.....

You can see how the head's been divided into several areas....each compartment has its own function.....like will, reason, acoustics, vision, power station(transmitting operating power to the rest of the body).

The respiratory process and the Cardiac processes are seen in the next part.

The digestive process is shown next in a very riveting manner.......

1. The food is first chewed and it is treated by the enzyme Amylase.

2. It then proceeds to the stomach via oesophagus where it is showered by the enzymes Pepsin and Rennin.

3. Then to pancreas and then to the Intestines.

It all reminds or brings up a picture of the industries and their working during the 19th century.

That the whole job is manual......whatever be the work but behind the curtain there's always a man. Kahn’s modernist visualization of the digestive and respiratory system as "industrial palace," really a chemical plant, was conceived in a period when the German chemical industry was the world’s most advanced.


And here's the original poster.....(click on the image for magnification)

A video of this image at  Man as an Industrial Palace on YouTube

For the meanings of the German terms visit German Terms (Further Reading section)

Fritz Kahn. Admired, displaced, forgotten – and rediscovered

Surfing through the web.....I found about a very interesting person named FRITZ KAHN.

Seems like this man, a visionary, looked at the human body from an altogether different perspective...

Often we refer our body as a machine, but this man visualised it as a machine.....impeccably illustrating the paraphernalia of the body in his book “Der Mensch als Industriepalast” (Man as Industrial Palace)" he efficiently captured all the basic functions of our body in robust sketches not forgetting even the slightest event during the whole process.

Men and their magnificent reasons for defeat (TOI Crest Ed.)

A few days back I found this article in the Times Of India Crest edition. I being in a state of doldrums these days feel as if my brain paraphernalia has ceased to work. Here is the master copy of the article....

TIGHT SHIRTS (2001)

Sri Lanka fund itself in a tight spot after losing the 2001 ICC Champions Trophy final to Pakistan and came up with the most achingly innovative excuse of all: ill-fitting clothes! Captain Sanath Jayasuriya said their shirts were too tight and restricted on-field mobility. He went a step further, saying the shirts were like "ill-fitting men's blouses". For those who heard, there was no need to hold the laughter back!

MAN BITES BALL (2010)

Why most Pakistani cricketers aren't renowned for their intellect was highlighted in inimitably daft fashion by Shahid Afridi in January during a lost ODI against Australia at Perth, when he was caught on camera taking ball tampering to a whole new, crass level: biting on the cherry itself. Caught red-handed, Afridi's defence was to let loose some aggressive verbal volleys: "I am not a fast bowler who would tamper the ball. I was just trying to help the bowler. Everyone does it." Thank god he didn't say he was trying to sharpen his teeth!

India....a parody (Part II)

SPORT-

The game of Rioting was a joint venture between India and Pakistan. The tradition now is that once any cricket match is over, everyone must riot and burn down a stand. This also keeps the youths in the country employed. Pakistan is India's long time rival in both games, cricket & rioting, of which India has won all. The Indian Football team is in contention with Brazil and England, to win the next Football World Cup, with the master striker, Bhaichung Bhutia expected to come out of retirement any moment. Bhutia is regarded as the God of Football in India. He was the star player for England's top team, Bury F.C., and he got thrown out after one season for undiagnosable reasons. He almost beat Ronaldo to the Balloon D'Orc, the award for being the most over hyped, out of fashion, overpaid footballer.

The captain of a losing Indian cricket team is sacrificed to a Hindu God of public's choice. The case in a way is different for a winning captain. He would be allowed the privilege of choosing the God to be sacrificed to.

Another famous sport in India is the famous, "Train Riding", its something like the mechanical rodeo bull, but more dangerous. It's a tradition since trains ever appeared there, the game consists in holding on the top of the train as long as you can. This attracts many tourists, as you can buy easily a ticket on the train interior to see the game, since almost everyone prefers to see the action from the outside.

FOOD-

Indians eat spice. They drink spice, smoke spice, sweat spice, fart spice, and even shit spice. Sometimes if you order it specially you can get food intermixed with the spices, but you must insist on it while ordering on public restaurants.

Indian food comes in two different dishes, basically containing the same ingredients, curry, Spice and oil. Combined with the 2 375 different flavours of spice though, an indian dinner can be combined in 10 ^ 87 different ways, giving more tastes than there is atoms in the universe and indeed taste buds in the mouth. This makes all indian food ending up in tasting curry anyway, since all the taste buds can detect are that they are exhausted. Indian food is also well known by going into your mouth and heading straight to your Colon.

ECONOMY-

Economically, India is very large, as large number of people have to live economically. Indians have been trying to deal with the growing population by buying cars,increasing the speed limit, and removing crosswalks.

The primary export of India is India ink, which is produced in massive quantities by the Indian held megacorporation India Inc. for worldwide export. This makes India one of the world’s most powerful countries.

Some profane minds that fancy eating beef have conjectured elsewhere that the reason behind this phenomenal explosion of the cow population in India is because of the fact that Indians do not eat cows. That's like saying that the reason behind the exponential growth of humans in India is because of the fact that cows do not eat humans; or too busy taking calls from mindless, frustrated Americans; or too busy building the digital cow milking machine for future generations or too busy breathing in and out.

A large part of the Indian economy is dependent on Mumbai and Bollywood. Founded by Robin Hood, wherefrom eponymous clones like Hollywood, Lollywood, Tollywood, Pollywood and many others 'woods' originated, Tiger Woods, in the year 1976, slapped a law suit on the Indian Government for infringing upon his Intellectual Property Rights. Robert Frost has simultaneously contended that the names were actually inspired by his famous poem, Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening...when, in reality, they were inspired by the morning wood people (usually male people) experience after watching late-night midnight songs.

Although there are talks of changing the national language to Java, the HRD Ministry of India believes that C++ would be a better choice. Currently, talks (read riots) are occurring all over India to resolve this issue peacefully. It has also been suggested that India is more of a mindset or hologram than a real place. Which means that I never wrote this -- you just imagined you read it. It also means that i never came here: you imagined I did.

BOLLYWOOD-

Bollywood is a very popular film industry and is as popular as Hollywood and is known all over India. They make the worst films in the world. No one watches them except for prudish high school girls and over-sized, middle-aged housewives. The only reason for the continuation of the boom in the cinema industry in India is that it's cheaper to pay to sleep in the cool confines of a cinema hall than to pay to sleep in a hotel.

Bollywood is also a pastime, for several Indians. It was invented by Dansi Engardhan, a woman who was born hard of hearing in Calcutta and who sold postcards in Mumbai until she was 14. In 2800 BC, she went to Babylon to fellate Roscoe Born and this experience had a profound effect on her creative insects. It is believed that she asked her rich uncle for an ice cube for her 18th birthday but instead got enrolled in an academy for Visual Arts. Somehow she learnt something there to some way return to Mumbai to sometime start Bollywood.

According to a famous film critic, who says this on the condition of anonymosity fearing murder, Bollywood thought sex did not exist until 2002 AB. Any and every intimate scene, if ever it passed the Censor Boards, was depicted by two flowers rubbing against each other. The censored rape scenes involved thunder and lightning or huge tidal waves hitting the rocks. The unofficial reason was to go back to the good old days of Shakespeare where every act in a play was left to the imagination of the audience.

Then, stalwarts like Rakhi Sawant came onto the screen and rediscovered the "dare to bare" philosophy. Of late, explicit scenes have become the norm, so much so that the Censor Board is contemplating including porn in its archives. In fact, a compelling need for an award, on the lines of the Oscars, to be awarded to the most endearing of sluts(male & female), has been felt across all sections of the film fraternity and the viewing public.

India....a parody (Part I)

Disclaimer-

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"Moooooo”

~ Indian holy cow on India

“People of India, people of the Rainbow Nation, people of the world [..].”

~ Ravi Shastri doesn't want the audience confused to who he is talking, just bleeding at the ears.

“It smells like shit and the people look like monkeys.”

~ Major Archibald Stiffy on his adventures in India

Location....

Facts and Figures.....

Capital--- New Deli

Previous capital-- Deli

Official Languages-- Sanskrit, Hindi, Telugu, English, Marathi + 10^100 other languages

Unofficial Languages-- Bambaiyya, Bhojpuri, Gulti, Inglis

Worst Language-- Malayalam (it means the same even when read backwards)

Most Deadly Language-- Classical Tamil

National Heroes-- Me, Amitabh Bacchan, Sachin Tendulkar, Ashoka, Clement Attlee, Mr. India, Krishh, Gandhi, Buddha

Religion-- Everything known to man

Declaration of Independence-- still trying

Population--

India is an imaginary place far, far away, home to Outsour Singh (OUTSOURCING), Bollywood, and a gazillion people. The very name means "the wrong side of the river" given to it by those posh downtown Persians who used to stare at it down the ravines of the Hindu Kush.

India is also the Manhattan of Asialand. It is the big huge melting pot where everything that ever enters it melts down to an ever increasing experience of cultural madness and confusion.

This strange complementary yet totally non-unitable features has made India the universal home of mysticism and ludicrousy.

HISTORY

This is presented as C because all educated Indians are computer programmers. All the uneducated ones are people like you.)

The History of India is an iterative function with the following structure:

char History_of_India(int residents = Dravidians) {

int intruders;

char Indian_history[ENDLESS];

wend{

intruders = Hindukush::read_stack();

if (intruders==0, Intruders = British Empire);

working_their_way_down_the_ganges(intruders);

Indian_history += Squabble(residents,intruders);

residents += intruders;

}while t==1

return Indian_history

}

Unfortunately this function - as with all other kinds of Indian logic - hangs up in an infinite loop.

MODERN HISTORY

The Europeans saw India and decided they wanted it. Then, one bald man said that we must not fight for independence. His idea was that this would confuse the British, even though he was employed by the British. This plan worked, and ended up not only confusing the British, but Indians and the rest of the World

Later, after the population in India exploded, each each person was allotted 5 triangle meters of space for living. Here's an interesting fact: Seven years ago, every 7th person in the world was an Indian, today every 6th person is an Indian and in 10 years every 5th person will be an Indian and very soon 'everyone will be an Indian'. This is a very ingenious idea to attain world domination.

There's more.......to be continued......

Offended!!

I'm sorry, are Muslims offended by images of Muhammad? Tough shit!! Look, if you want to believe in the boogey man, that's your prerogative, but it stops being "Corky from Life Goes On" adorable when your batshit crazy beliefs begin to effect those around you.

You know what offends me? That your beliefs in a god (whether you're Jewish, Christian, or Muslim) affect, and sometimes dictate, the way you vote, which does affect me. I'm offended by Sharia Law. I'm offended by the dark ages and all of the progress that humanity has lost because of religion. I'm offended by all of the energy wasted on religion. I'm offended by honor killings. I'm offended by the ongoing violent conflict between Palestine and Israel. I'm offended by the Crusades. I'm offended by the Inquisition. I'm offended by organized child rape and those that cover it up. I'm especially offended that religion is inflicted upon those that are too young and weak to defend themselves from religious indoctrination and the life time of baggage that goes with it. I'm offended that you have to follow those ten rules because they believe that an invisible man lives in the sky and is watching you, and if you don't follow them, he will send you somewhere down to abstruse depths to burn, to cry. I'm offended by the blatant sexism present in religion. I'm offended by every violent act and murder ever committed in the name of religion. Most of all, I'm offended by the fact that, despite all of this, despite all of the evil done in the name of religion, the rest of you, the "good" believers, still adhere to this bullshit.

tl;dr - they offended me first.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION. You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.

here's more at http://media-meditation.blogspot.com/2006/05/democracy-with-recent-elections-back.html