“I proud to be a CKD” – XYZ (Name classified with the author)
“A CKD alone, who hast a heart of verity and a chaste soul, shalt have the valour for superfluous chivalry” – ABC (Name, again, classified with the author)
Since the commencement of the rat race of men, we have called each other by various names reflecting their character class as a whole like nerds, geeks, psychopath etc etc. These names are myriad and differ from region to region, environment to environment and specific characters found now and again. If you would ever come to my college Harcourt Butler Technological Institute, Kanpur, you would meet a special class of people.....CKDs (I would not expand this word since it could be disturbing). Now you would ask me what, who, how, why are they?? If you are a part of my institute you would be well intimate with the whole paraphernalia and lineament of a CKD. But it’s not like only my institute had had the honour to house these people, for countless years, the CKDs were spread around the globe as an unnamed class, (it’s just that the word ‘CKD’ was first minted in my institute).
So the question arises as to where did the CKD originate, both as a word an individual and, possibly, a species? What were the original societal perceptions of the CKD? How have these changed over the years? Avoiding the other clichés let’s enter the world of the CKD and discover this fascinating and light hearted guide of the origin, behaviour and evolution of the species. (Darwin, eat your heart out!!!)
BIOLOGICAL NAME: Homo Clitofanaticus
CHARCHTERISTICS:
A CKD is exclusively a Boy.
No Girl can ever be a CKD(legally...at least)
Typical to a CKD is his obliviousness to other boys when he is with a girl (CLASS A).
Some hardcore CKDs surpass even this critical level of oblivion and they may be physically with a boy but never mentally (CLASS B). {{ Extensive evolution has conceived a CLASS C type CKD who might never talk to a boy in his lifetime }}
A CKD, though, is often seen striving for a feminine companion but no such result has ever been achieved. Yes, there have been 5-6 exceptions (but if 50% elements of the periodic table can be exceptions then presumably this a safe level for a theory).
Girls have often been seen as using them as a safe, convenient and long-lasting talking machine, photocopy machine, means of transport, carry bag, Personal Assistant and superficially a brother (nothing more, nothing *maybe* less).
In general, they are normally weak in ‘interaction’ skill, except with the girls.
The world has seen many CKDs through time and history. Some notable examples are:
1.) Giacomo Casanova (pt 9 on the CKD INTENSITY SCALE, the first widely accepted CKD)
2.) Charlie Chaplin (pt 4)
3.) Isaac Newton (pt 3)
4.) Albert Einstein (pt 7)
Some living legends include
1.) Salman Rushdie (pt 6)
2.) Shahrukh Khan (pt 5.3) [credited as the father of CKDtivity in India]
3.) Hugh Hefner (pt 8) [father of CKDtivity in the world]
Social History:
They were officially identified around 2000 A.D. circa when the DUDE culture was in the BETA version and was being christened. The DUDEs, large in number took the CKDs in disdain and made comprehensive efforts to socially exclude them. Afraid, some CKDs succumbed to DUDE-ism but with the emerging culture of Boyfriend-Girlfriend-ism, came a back effect on DUDE-ism (though it could not damage it much owing to the robust leadership of DUDE-ism). Since then the CKDs have increasingly become aware of their importance. CKD pride was born. (But the girls seem to be using them as a shield from the irresistible DUDEs so CKD-pride can been dubbed as CKD-PSEUDO-PRIDE).
It would be remiss not to mention Miane pyar kiya, Mohabbatein, Darr etc. pivotal as they are to CKDism. A majority of filmography of the 90s need be seen as it actually gave a majority of CKDs the “balls” to reveal their identity and pruned their behaviour as we see them today. I suggest you see them ‘cuz without the proper knowledge a CKD can never be understood and appreciated.
Of course, all this means that there are now huge amounts of people who pretend to be a CKD. This can be seen in the rise of CKDism as a whole. However, a word of warning for the pseudo-CKD, the real CKD can sniff you out as an imposter immediately!! ‘coz it’s not easy to hang and swarm around girls all the time!!! If you borrow the image, concept and culture of the CKD so you can stand out as an individual, remember that this is a contradiction in terms to the ‘CKD de Verity’. As such you will be shunned on discovery!
So, the CKD has come a long way in the thousands of years since the trait made its first appearance. What the next upcoming years holds is anyone’s guess??? But it promises to be more than interesting. Where the CKD herd goes next may well determine the future progress of humanity. Only time – and the type of evolution – will tell.
P.S.- Due to the unwillingness of the CKDs to interact with the other people of the surrounding world not much is known and the CKD community are the ‘Dark Continent’ for all evolutionists, biologists and behaviourists.
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