Offended!!

I'm sorry, are Muslims offended by images of Muhammad? Tough shit!! Look, if you want to believe in the boogey man, that's your prerogative, but it stops being "Corky from Life Goes On" adorable when your batshit crazy beliefs begin to effect those around you.

You know what offends me? That your beliefs in a god (whether you're Jewish, Christian, or Muslim) affect, and sometimes dictate, the way you vote, which does affect me. I'm offended by Sharia Law. I'm offended by the dark ages and all of the progress that humanity has lost because of religion. I'm offended by all of the energy wasted on religion. I'm offended by honor killings. I'm offended by the ongoing violent conflict between Palestine and Israel. I'm offended by the Crusades. I'm offended by the Inquisition. I'm offended by organized child rape and those that cover it up. I'm especially offended that religion is inflicted upon those that are too young and weak to defend themselves from religious indoctrination and the life time of baggage that goes with it. I'm offended that you have to follow those ten rules because they believe that an invisible man lives in the sky and is watching you, and if you don't follow them, he will send you somewhere down to abstruse depths to burn, to cry. I'm offended by the blatant sexism present in religion. I'm offended by every violent act and murder ever committed in the name of religion. Most of all, I'm offended by the fact that, despite all of this, despite all of the evil done in the name of religion, the rest of you, the "good" believers, still adhere to this bullshit.

tl;dr - they offended me first.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM. You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION. You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called 'Cowkimon' and market them worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION. You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION. You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION. You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment and high bovine productivity. You have the newsman who reported on the numbers arrested.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You worship them.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION. You have two cows. You signed a 40-year contract to supply milk at 0.06 per lit. Then midway you raised the price to 0.60 or you cut supply. When the buyer agrees to the new price, you change your mind again and now want 1.20. The buyer decided you can keep the milk and they go look for milk that comes from recycled cows. Your two cows retire together with the PM.

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION. You have two cows: One "cow-peh" and one "cow-bu". Both are owned by a government linked corporation.

here's more at http://media-meditation.blogspot.com/2006/05/democracy-with-recent-elections-back.html

27^th December, I was returning to my home, I had to dash (after getting an ultimatum from home, anyone would......) this rush was augmented by the ‘sub-zero’ gush that hit my face like a punch, left my face covered with a layer of ice (I thought so) and reflexively induced in my mind an image in which I had turned into an Ice-Cream and the stray dogs were licking me, so would happen if I delayed further.

Therefore, I started satisfactorily early and was happy that I would reach on time.......but ‘Bhagwan jab deta hai, chhappar phad kar deta hai’......even the quandaries......

Kanpur, the Manchester of Northern India, is the ‘magnum opus’ of mismanagement. It is perennially and whole heartedly there to problemize every errand. Me and my friends booked a two-seater for the bus stand. But that 20 min ride took exactly 67 minutes. Why!!???...... Our steps forward to the destination were blighted by the Muharram procession on the very ‘wide and spacious’ streets of Kanpur.

Religion is a strong incentive for doing anything, anywhere, anyroad without an iota of external objection. They were there......on the streets with flail like things, thongs, whips, barbed wire, fire and other noxious things and the Police present there so that it goes on slickly. Blood dripping from their backs.....skin, flesh and blood had assorted into one.....mourning and imitating the sufferings which (..............) underwent some (........) years ago (ahem...my history was always awful!!!!). I suffer IN THE NAME OF GOD. They were doing the most gruesome things (which made Shakespeare call Lady Macbeth a ‘Shameless Fiend’) to themselves (disqualifying themselves from Human community), which I wouldn’t even do to my Maths teacher (OH GOD!! I hate her more than anyone......phew!). If you were a ‘kafir’ you could turn your face away but if you were one of them, NO VIEWER DISCRETION, even if you were a six year old and have just learned how to not pee on the bed while sleeping.

Whatever, we somehow crawled out of that uncensored bloodbath after several close shaves with other vehicles. But the driver stopped this side of the flyover (with the bus stand on the other side) because the flyover was blocked by the Police due to Muharram processions so we had to walk it. The idea seemed feasible for a second but when you have a bag full of dirty laundry on your back and you are returning after one month you need some extraordinary incentive to do that. Even Edmund Hillary wouldn’t have needed more impetus than we needed at that second. In that cold breeze coupled with starvation, the warm bed in my room and mom’s food were magnets enough to make me ascend.

Finally we were on that bus to Lucknow. It slowly stuffed with passengers. The driver entered the bus, sat on his seat, spat his pan masala out of the window (the incorrigible habit of about a million Indians) and twisted the ignition key. When we reached the bridge over River Ganga, several people bowed their heads to the river and two men took out a one rupee coin and threw it out into the river!!.....just like that......which they would’ve hesitated to give to a beggar in need took almost no time to take the coin out and bury it in that deep water.....whom did they give it to??.....the river??,the fish?? They gave it to no one. God..... (if is present) never asked for it!!! Such kind of people are drowning India’s money before everyone and no one’s stopping them (undoubtedly, the best fooling machine award goes to!!!-----RELIGION***Applause***). 43 men were on that bus. 2/43 drowned 2 rupees. Now you are good enough at probability (m not) to calculate the net amount of money drenched every day in the rivers throughout India. Law says destroying currency is a crime......if you see someone deliberately spiflicating currency notes, you could sue him in the court......but what if you see someone drowning it in a river where it would lie fallow??.......it would just vanish without any clue. There’s no law for this probably because it is backed by a powerful force....RELIGION. IN THE NAME OF GOD, I throw this coin in this river. ‘I PROMISE TO PAY THE BEARER THE SUM OF ...........’ is written on the currency notes......but under what criterion that river the bearer of that sum!!?? We don’t think about the river when we pour our sludge into it putting the whole aquarium at stake!!

Whatever, at the end of the day I’m at my home....in my warm, cosy bed. All this has been happening and will keep on occurring. Faith and patriotism are the most potent tools which anyone could use to make his ends meet. People can do anything if you stir the prospects of faith in them. We can only be thankful to the initiators of such practices that they didn’t start any grimmer or more slipshod practice.......... imagine if in the procession they would have been harming others!!! (Being a fellow countryman you should share our grief!!!).....or if the coins wouldn’t have sufficed our Gods!! (You believe so??.....go on!! Give something new to us!!!)